Some good excerpts

Lately I have been reading "The Essential Family Guide To Borderline Personality Disorder" (look here for more info http://www.bpdcentral.com/index.php ). One of my mom's clients had an extra copy and gave it to mom and I just picked it up out of curiosity. It's been interesting enough that I am now almost finished. I was reading and two things really popped out to me.
The author, Randi Kreger, is quoting Carolyn DeRoo's "What's right with me" on page 137.

"Think back to some of the most important people to you, now and in the past. What have they said they appreciate about you? What compliments have you received during your life? Write down the answers. "You want to see the nice things they say about you in black and white," she says, "As you write, consider that these people, as far as you know, do not have a brain disorder that affects their perceptions and emotions. Doesn't that make their assessments more persuasive--or at least as persuasive as those of your family member?"

I never really considered this point of view before. I haven't really thought about wether the insults or the compliments given to me came from a sound mind that I trust. I have always felt that it is important that a person giving me advice should love me, know what they are talking about, and have my best interest in mind. I think that there is merit to it. The second quote from this book come from page 136-137. It is personally relevant. I found this to be true in my life and countless others. Again really well said and is a direct quote from Carolyn DeRoo in her book What's Right with Me.

"In this culture we are raised with the notion that if we do the right thing, things will work out for us. But some difficulties have nothing to do with us. We may be doing a whole lot right--even going above and beyond--but we're still struggling. When that happens, we feel bad about ourselves. We question if we did the right thing.
We need to disconnect from the belief that we're doing something wrong just because struggle still exists. We need to bear in mind that this is just a basic part of life, even thought it's not reflected out there in the media. And we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, because we don't know how things really are for them"

There is a lot to deal with in this paragraph. It is one of the most difficult lessons of my twenties. That good actions and intentions do not always mean we win or that it works out. Sometimes it just doesn't. However, I have also learned that it is better to try and keep working at it and do everything that you can. The reward is peace and if you are lucky success. I have learned to enjoy peace as a consequence and as a reward.