A T-Shirt for Josh

On the rare occasion that I leave Josh with someone else I am always very concerned for them.  And if they have small children, their children.  As I was saying goodbye to him on Friday for a much needed break I desperately wanted to warn the charming couple about my son.  I thought I should have made him a t-shirt so they would have it on hand. 

WARNING:
I throw food when I am done with it
I pour/fling drinks for fun, then cry for more
It's not an accident when I jump off the couch head first
Head wounds bleed a lot, but generally I'm okay
I climb the curtains.  I go down the tallest slide head first.
I don't wait for anyone.  I will jump of the side of anything.
I like to chase cars.  Shrek and Buzz Lightyear are my best friends.
If I poop once, then I will continue pooping every 30 minutes for a few hours.
I like to burp.  I open medicine bottles, any kind.
I like wallets.  I like the cards in the wallets.
I like heater vents.  I like to put things in the heater vents.  Like cards from your wallet
I will push every button, figurative and real. 
I pull Abby's hair when I am bored. 
I carry things as heavy as me, and then drop them when I see you.
I love to be chased.  I love to throw things away.  Especially things from your wallet.
I eat money.  I can dismantle a computer and unlock anything.
I love phones, and electronics.  They taste good.
I take saliva baths on my way to church.  For fun.
Sisters are for teasing.  I want you to feed me so that I can fling my (fill in the blank).
I have never ending boogers.  I always have. 
I eat fruit snacks non-stop through out the day.
I swing on doors.  I can tell when you have to go to the bathroom and will make every attempt to thwart you from the necessary action...