If I ever need inspiration, something to make me feel like doing something Kristin Armstrong is where I turn. She wrote a post called The Wall today. I've felt like in a personal way I have very much found 'the wall' and am now in a struggle, a battle, with it.
Part of my wall is the sinking dispair of gaining weight again and the inability to do more. It's so minor compared to other giants in my life but its one that's bringing me down. I've worked so hard and everytime I work so hard there's never anytime to enjoy it. And the fact that a marathon, a real marathon, is once again put on hold for atleast 2 years. Sinking. I've really considered just ignoring all the reasons that I shouldn't and just training anyway. Atleast getting back up to a 10k. I'm more than 1/2 way there. 2 more miles at a moderate pace? Okay so I've already given myself persmission to do that one.
Its just hard when life changes, regardless of the reason, and you have to reset your goals, even your finish line changes directions. It can be hard to stay motivated with so much change. Hard to stay consistent and together. I realized today that nearly everyday I have been in public I have ended up in a stained shirt.
The good news is that I know that I'm in a period of growth. Soon I will be strong enough to face the challenges and for a short while I will get to enjoy it before I am hit again. Yeah, growth is how I handle my wall.
1 comment:
Funny, you told me the other day that you were so looking forward to being in the stage of life that I am in right now. I often look back to the days when I had little ones around and think how much simpler and more peaceful those days were. Before your kids start school, you fantasize about all the free time you'll have when they do. Somehow, though, things just get busier and you have to work around someone else's schedule. Then you think, "well, when they're teenagers and can stay home alone or babysit each other, I will have so much more freedom." Wrong again. You become taxi mom and your plans have to revolve around multiple activies, the more kids, the greater the demand. So I've figured out that the trick is to find joy where you're at.
Also, enjoy the times that you can run, because the older your kids get, the trickier it becomes to find the time. I run while Ivy is at seminary (4.5 miles at most) then try to squeeze in another 2 or so between seminary and driving to gymnastics, band, academic team etc, etc. Often times, though, that time is taken signing papers, finding shoes, making sure everyone has eaten, and so on. So far it hasn't gotten easier,in fact, it's become more complicated.
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