Church and blogging wierdness.

I went to church for the first time since Izzy was born.  I blog stalked the ladies in our ward who have blogs.  It was a way to try and still feel connected and socially relevant.  The ironic part is that when I saw these people at church I realized that most of them don't have a clue about who I am, but scarier they have no idea what I know about them. 


I suddenly felt as though I were a peeping tom or participating in some form of voyeurism.  If I was a religious commenter maybe some of these feelings would go away, but I still think that I was feeling like my online 'community' was a sham.  Only one of these blogs has stirred me into an actual face to face friendship.

I often forget that these platforms are really just a jumping point.  After that you need to make the connection, the in the flesh connection.  I need that.  They need that.

I left church feeling socially wary and awkward as anyone who misses six consecutive weeks would feel.  Except I knew things about people.  Things they didn't know that I knew.

The weird thing is that when I hear that people I don't know or barely know read my blog it doesn't bother me. I don't feel like I am especially exposed or exploited.  I understand that this is a public blog and that people are going to read it.  They may gain a greater insight into who I am or they may misinterpret my tone or way of being.  They may feel like they know me well when they meet or observe me or they may feel like they misjudged who I was.