Sunday, May 29, 2011

Race Day

We ran the Cleveland Rite Aid 5k again this year.  I ran the 5k with Courtney.  She kicked my butt.  She is a speedy devil.  I did not make my New Years Goal so I will try again later this year.  I still did better than last year though-  I averaged 9:20min/mile inspite of that all too common runner's ailment that causes you to have problems in the middle of a race and then again after the race.  Stories that are usually told to only other runners.  
Abby ran the kids race.  Josh made his first attempt.  They both got medals and 'presents' as they called them.   Abby actually ran, while Josh cried and had Adam carry him.  It was pretty cool because they held the race on the Brown's Stadium Field.  It was raining, or rather misting the whole time.  Just like always.  Sometimes I think that I must live in Washington.  
It was a great time and I am excited to run this race again.  And to race again.

The End is Near

A week ago I had the opportunity to watch a group of little kids while their parents went to their OCPM graduation ceremony.  It was different than previous graduations because I knew these people.  Almost everyone is leaving the state.  And most of them are doing it for good.  It is odd to view their drama, one that unfolds so publicly.  For several of them it was the last time that they would go to our church building.  Their families were there and they were able to share some of the memories made here.  Watching their end, and subsequent beginning, made me think of our own impending end and new beginning.

It also made me think of my last ending.  We left Texas nearly two years ago.  I remember that day, taking a picture that isn't even on this computer(we got this computer after we moved here in 2009), to document our last time living at my parents house.  We stood right outside the tree in the front yard.  My dad took the picture.  I still feel sad that I don't get to wander back to his office and ask him if we can go to lunch.  Or offer him some toast and eggs for breakfast.  Or tell him he has to eat vegetables at dinner time.

I remember marking the end of the street, which I had run literally hundreds of times on hot, humid Texas mornings.  I remember passing the grocery stores where I learned how to coupon.  I remember leaving Dallas, and then Texas.  And that was my end.  The border of Texas.  It was still hot, but not Texas hot.  And Texas was no longer home.

Home was somewhere new.  A place I didn't know yet.  A place without memories or family or friends.  When we got here we were so blessed to have half the ward come and move us in.  We nestled into our first house, our first house that we own.  And started making it our home.

And just two short years later I am looking forward and planning how we are going to move out.  I am already nervous to put it on the market and look around and making lists and checking things off of things that we need to do.  I guess when you know that you aren't going to be somewhere for a long time it is hard to really settle.  It's more like recovery time before you next sprint.  

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Last week the challenges piled up.  And I was weighed down.  My husband, in spite of his heavy and arduous load (it was the beginning of a grueling test week) came home just long enough for me to take a quick run.  I ran out, heavy and burdened.  As my focus shifted from every other role I was juggling to runner I was able to look up and see the beautiful sunset.  I was able to breathe in the comfortable air and the sweet smell of mowed lawns.  I thought about the ways I challenged myself and how I want to put in more miles.  I genuinely want to run more.

Then I began to think about children, because I am a mom.  And no matter what or where we are the hardest thing to do is to not think about your children.  The thought occurred to me that children are a lot like miles.  Some people can't imagine one.  Others are happy to have two.  Some like three.  It is comfortable and there are lots of other people who do three.  It's a nice stopping point, long enough for a race but short enough to eat before you head out.  There are still others who dream of six or ten or twenty six or fifty.  Some don't ever want to stop.

Some feel like each one is a gift from God and can cherish and enjoy each one as they are given.  Some physically can't have one even though it is all they have dreamed of.  Other's struggle with one or two.  Some are easy and some are hard.  Some make you mad when they don't go quite as you planned.  Some make you crazy with all of their ups and downs.  Some make you cry.  Some make you laugh.  Some make you suffer, but also make you feel like you grew in the end.  Really each one is different, unique in the way that you handle them and the way they make you feel.  Some are so bad that you swear you will never do it again.  Others are so good you swear you could keep going forever.

The way I saw it that evening was insightful.  I'm not really sure where I fit in the whole scheme of it all, but I do very much feel that miles and children are the same.