leaving ur
I read this article by Kristin Armstrong (one of my favorite bloggers). I thought about my own Ur. In some very tangible ways I feel like I have left Ur. I live in Ohio thousands of miles from my Texas home, with only new friends to greet us. We live literally every year differently and without knowledge of where we are going to live and when we will get there or how it will all happen. The constant that is most important is trusting the Lord.
I still find it difficult to always trust that this is right. That HOW we are doing it is right. That WHERE we are is right. I find myself in need of a lot or reassurance. This is new to me and my husband. No one is really mentoring us through this process. We are guided by God, I believe, but not really any one person here on earth. Don't get me wrong, we have some fantastic cheerleaders, but for them this is new too.
tangent: When I think about our journey here it helps me feel compassionate towards other people who venture out beyond the landscapes that their families have already made. I often hear about welfare recipients and why don't they do more for themselves. Or children of High School dropouts. These are people at the bottom of the wrung. Who seemingly don't do the basic civility of providing for themselves and bettering their situation so that they can provide for themselves..
It's scary and hard and most importantly unknown.
Forging the path is difficult when no one is there holding your hand through it. There is so much that I hope to pass on to our children that will make their journey easier. Conversely we have struggled so much where others glide by and that alone has granted us trouble. I can see now why more poverty stricken people don't change their situation. Not because it is comfortable but because it is known.
End Tangent
In other ways, much more private ways, I still need to heed that call to pack up and leave. Again it is hard but mostly unknown. It requires more than measurable trust and almost equal work. Being the mother of three has rocked my world. Having a husband that is gone at school or church is painstaking. Doing it without family brings me to a place I have never before known.
But God has provided. He has provided the friends that are my Ohio family. He has proven His trustworthiness. He has given me strength to do the work. And he leads me ever on. I just hope that I continue to have the faith to follow.
I read this article by Kristin Armstrong (one of my favorite bloggers). I thought about my own Ur. In some very tangible ways I feel like I have left Ur. I live in Ohio thousands of miles from my Texas home, with only new friends to greet us. We live literally every year differently and without knowledge of where we are going to live and when we will get there or how it will all happen. The constant that is most important is trusting the Lord.
I still find it difficult to always trust that this is right. That HOW we are doing it is right. That WHERE we are is right. I find myself in need of a lot or reassurance. This is new to me and my husband. No one is really mentoring us through this process. We are guided by God, I believe, but not really any one person here on earth. Don't get me wrong, we have some fantastic cheerleaders, but for them this is new too.
tangent: When I think about our journey here it helps me feel compassionate towards other people who venture out beyond the landscapes that their families have already made. I often hear about welfare recipients and why don't they do more for themselves. Or children of High School dropouts. These are people at the bottom of the wrung. Who seemingly don't do the basic civility of providing for themselves and bettering their situation so that they can provide for themselves..
It's scary and hard and most importantly unknown.
Forging the path is difficult when no one is there holding your hand through it. There is so much that I hope to pass on to our children that will make their journey easier. Conversely we have struggled so much where others glide by and that alone has granted us trouble. I can see now why more poverty stricken people don't change their situation. Not because it is comfortable but because it is known.
End Tangent
In other ways, much more private ways, I still need to heed that call to pack up and leave. Again it is hard but mostly unknown. It requires more than measurable trust and almost equal work. Being the mother of three has rocked my world. Having a husband that is gone at school or church is painstaking. Doing it without family brings me to a place I have never before known.
But God has provided. He has provided the friends that are my Ohio family. He has proven His trustworthiness. He has given me strength to do the work. And he leads me ever on. I just hope that I continue to have the faith to follow.
2 comments:
What I think is amazing is that you will look back on these times--and someday it will be SO VERY CLEAR the lessons you have learned and how you've grown as a couple and a family, and you will SEE why this path was the one you had to take-why the unknown circumstances and struggles and such have taken place. But most of all, you will see how Heavenly Father allowed for each and every step to allow for blessings to unfold and miracles to take place, and for you to be brought to the best place possible.
I think you're doing an incredible job! I hope you know that--and I admire your faith in doing what you are at this point in life--it definitely takes strength!
Funny how Ur has a way of kicking you out sometimes. I always felt like Mom & Dad were a safety net, a place I could run to if things got too hairy. I never could fathom moving away from that security, but now its gone; they are dealing with issues far larger than mine. But I seem to have gotten by just fine, a few scary moments, but nothing devastating. And then you realize how good it feels to stand on your own two feet with nobody there to catch you but the Lord.
Interesting, too, that not knowing where you're headed bothers people so much. Sometimes I look at the next two years and want to cry, or hide, or run away, anything other than tackle another semester. But just focusing on where I am makes it all seem doable.
Someday, sister, you and I will be sitting side by side in our rockers (with our running shoes on, because we just got back from a nice, long, old lady run with our sporty depends) looking back on these times and all we'll remember is the joy. :)
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