Tummy Time

For a couple of weeks I have been putting Josh on his tummy for tummy time. When I did this to Abby she cried and figured out how to roll as fast as possible. Josh just falls asleep. It really scares me. I have been given so much information on SIDS and how sleeping on your stomach can be really dangerous. Especially if the baby is congested. Which Josh has been since day one. Worse now, he is showing a preference to sleep on his tummy. He cried half the morning and I knew that he was tired. I couldn't figure out what was keeping him awake. I tried everything. Finally I decided I had to put him down while I got lunch for Abby. I put him on his tummy for some tummy time since he was crying anyway. Almost immediately the crying stopped and before I finished dishing out the macaroni and cheese he was asleep. I just don't want him to die. I know that millions of kids have successfully survived sleeping on their stomach's as infants and that there is not clear cause or indications for SIDS. Either way I'm paranoid. I just really don't want him to die. I would feel a lot better about it if he could roll over.

Ears are the most disgusting part of the body

Today I got out of the shower and ofcourse there was water in my ear. Although I am very grateful for the opportunity to hear, and to have relatively good hearing I hate ears. Part of this is exacerbated by the fact that I was born into a family that has really gross ears. We have an abundance of ear wax. So I sat there with the gross feeling of water in my ear realizing that I had to get a q-tip to dig out not just water but ofcourse ear wax. This is not a rare occasion for me.
Beyond the superficial grossness of the ear lies not much more than more grossness. Tiny chicken like bones, a curly tunnel, and a small strip of skin all immersed in "fluid". The only part of an ear that I have ever seen disected were the ear bones. They are gross. The "fluid" is gross. The tiny villi (fingerlike hairs that sense vibration covering your nasty inside the fluid ear parts) are gross. Everything. It's not much better than what you see on the outside. No wonder God hid them behind hair. No wonder we put shiny pretty things on the most lower part of ears. All to distract or hide our hideous ears!

Thanksgiving/ My Birthday

I had a really good Thanksgiving/Birthday. Adam, Abby, and Joshua had flowers sent to me on Wednesday. It included all of my favorite kinds of flowers and it smelled wonderful. On Thanksgiving Adam changed all of the poopy diapers in the nighttime. We went and played Turkey Bowl. I went for my first run since Joshua was born. It felt really good for the most part. Then we played at the park. Later Adam's parents came by the house. They brought me balloons with money in the balloons! It was FANTASTIC!!!
Later that day we went to Becca's for Thanksgiving. We ate and ate and ate. Before the games began Everyone in Indiana called and wished me a Happy Birthday. I was really surprised that they remembered and that they took the time during Thanksgiving to call me. I really enjoyed it. Then I played Apples to Apples and gluttened myself on Pumpkin Jelly Rolls. We got home and went to bed.
Well sort of. The kids went to bed while Adam and I planned our Black Friday attack. I got up a couple of hours after I went to bed. I have to admit that I got some pretty amazing deals. And I also had a lot of fun. And I am finished shopping for my family. YAY!
Then last night we ordered pizza and had a fire in the fireplace. We all fell asleep together on the floor by the fireplace. It was really nice. Just a really nice past couple of days.

Menu Plan Monday on Thursday instead and other stuff

So for the rest of the week we are going to have
Meatloaf w/cheese tortilini
7 layer bean dip
Chicken A la King from the Kraft Website

CVS Deal
I went to CVS for the first since I was about 35 weeks pregnant. Kind of dropped the ball eh? I did their spend $20 (4 packages) on Duracell Batteries and get $15 EB. What they don't advertise is at the check out counter they have coupons that they scan that make it even cheaper. I spent about 3.70 each time. I did it three times cool hu!

Walmart
So walmart price compares but I have never tried it with meat. This week Albertsons has 93% lean hamburger on sale for 2.99, and I got it for that price at Walmart even though it was on a 3 lb package. I still bought 3 lb but in 1 lb increments and got each package for 2.99

Working out
It hasn't really happened yet. I have jogged a few steps but that is about it. I have looked through the Hurst Happenings guide and there are a few classes that I am interested in taking to jumpstart my working out. In the mean time I am on my own. I keep saying that I going to get up early and go workout but inevitably when Josh is awake at 5 for an hour I tell myself I can sleep in. I think that the next time I go to the library I will rent a workout dvd so that I can do something. Maybe I will try out the exercise on-demand thing that mom and dad have. I'll post later and say how it goes.

Josh
He is getting big! I weighed him at home almost a week ago and he was 12+ lbs! He is definitely an eater. He has a rash. It seems to disturb only me. I don't think that a doctor would do anything for it besides tell me to eat differently and wash his clothes in Dreft, both of which I am already doing.

Abby
I think that maybe we are starting to get back into a routine. Which is good for potty training. I am able to leave the house more, which she likes, and helps her to relax when we are at home. She has slept a couple of nights all the way through this week which was nice. Hopefully it will turn into an every night affair!

Adam
Adam has received two offers, so far, to fill out secondary applications! YAY! One is in Georgia and the other is in Washington DC. We are still waiting for a quite a few other schools to either reject or invite. He has also unofficially passed his part of accreditadation for his company! Yay!

Why Doesn't the World Just Stop

I remember at Grandpa's funeral how surreal everything was. Looking at Grandma it just seemed like the world should stop. And even though it slowed down and she didn't have to worry about food for a short time, somehow time slipped by. You could tell that the days were short and the hours, minutes, even seconds were longer than they had ever been before. I remember for me it seemed particularly poignant when she recieved the American flag from the soldier, and then laid the red rose on his casket before watching him lowered into the ground. Time should have stopped long before then, but the moments were only shorter. And then they were too long. She was broken. Part of her still living in the moments where she found Grandpa and part of her learning to live without him.
I felt the duality of moments after Abby was born. And again after Josh was born. It seems unfair that my body can't be fully healed immediately after birth so that I can enjoy each precious moment. It seems unfair that I can't magically be rested despite of the night I've had before. I can't even retain maturity without sleep. I wanted the world to stop and wait after Abby was born. I wanted it so badly. To be healed before anything more happened. Now I realize that I missed a lot of opportunities and so while I wish it for Josh I certainly am not waiting for it like I did with Abby. I try very hard to live in this moment and cope with its ups and downs instead of living in the painful moments of labor or the restless moments of the night. My duality is a far happier duality than Grandma's. My before and after's are bitter sweet. I miss the days of just Adam and of just Abby but I am so happy for Abby and Josh. I'm certain that Grandma just wishes for her before, for her Donald. I remember her lamenting out loud and often. "Can't we resurrect him now?" "I just can't spare him" "Can't I just die now" Ironically I never before identified so much with my Grandma. I've felt that way before.

Here is a link to some newborn pictures of Joshua http://www.growingfamily.com/webnursery/hospitals/Baylor/babypage_view.asp?URLid=8526425487 . Here is a link to 2 week old pictures of Joshua and Abby http://smilestore.picturepeople.com/my/images?cg=207294587118602924 .

Joshua had his 2 week appointment last week. I decided that I don't like my pediatrician. In the hospital the pediatrician told me he was yellow and probably jaundice. I told him that I thought he was pink. He said that I should consider supplementing because Josh lost 1 oz too many in the hospital. I told him I had plenty of milk. He also gave me this long lecture about how efficiently run his office is. Well it turns out that Josh was way below the bilirubin limit, he gained a whole pound over his birth weight by two weeks and I waited over an hour in his office. He was unneccesarily rough with Joshua too. Poor little guy. This is same office saw Abby for her 3 y/o check up at the same time Josh had his 2 week check up. They check her cholesterol and told me it was high at 200. Then they wanted to give her a fasting cholesterol test. I asked what they would do if the fasting one turned out the be high. They said they would suggest dietary changes. Adam and I decided that this would be too invasive since we could just watch what Abby eats a little closer. Actually I have been watching what I normally feed her and I just don't think it needs to change. I just don't think that this is the emergency that they were making it out to be. Either way I am going to find a new pediatrician anyway.

Abby, after having regressed, is getting better. We are potty training AGAIN. But it is going much more smoothly this time. She is also getting better about sleeping through the night. Again. She still asks to nurse for which I have no good response. I feel like telling her that she is too old would just enhance the desire. Mostly I just try to change the subject. The biggest challenge I feel like I am facing with her right now is teaching her to be quiet and gentle around Joshua.

There's so much more to write about. Josh lost his cord when he was 13 days old. He had a rash. It's getting better. I think that Abby is allergic to Ranch, since her rash finally went away after not having ranch for a day or two. This is quite tragic since she loves ranch. I guess that will cut out some cholesterol anyway. Josh is crying and it's bed time.

Joshua Kelsey-Aaron Brown

It's been a little over a week since Josh arrived. We went in the night before and I was given some pills to start labor. It worked around 4:30 am as previously stated. I didn't use any pain medication until I was a 6 or a 7 and then I had stadol. I thought that it would be nice to use pain medication during transition. I learned that pain medications stall my labor. And that hitting transition stalls my labor. We called Becca sometime around noonish it seems and she was with me and Adam until Josh was born. It was really nice to have her there. Both Adam and Becca did a lot to help me. So did the nurses. I had really good nurses this time around. I ended up with Pitocin around 3 or 4 it seems. Transition, when it finally hit, was the single most painful thing I have ever experienced. We also had to turn Josh from posterior to anterior. As soon as he was anterior it was time to push. It took me a while but I finally did it. In the end I was really glad to have done it without an epidural. All in all it was about 14 hours.
Admittedly this is not a well composed blog. I had VERY little sleep last night. Anyway my biggest fear came after transistion when someone said they needed to get ready. I paniced and thought that they were going to do a C-Section. I felt so defeated at that moment, ready to but too tired to fight. It was in the back of my mind the whole time that I was going to end up with a C-Section. I remember asking what they were getting ready to do and someone finally replied that they were getting ready for me to give birth. That was probably the most relieving thing for me personally.
My biggest fear for Josh was when he came out and didn't breathe right away. It seemed like an eternity before he started crying. Becca and Adam later told me that the nurse paged the NICU but by the time they got there everything was okay and Josh was breathing just fine, with an APGAR of 8/9. We asked Dr Wai about it and he said it wasn't a big deal; that if anyone gets the feeling that something is wrong then that person goes ahead and calls the NICU. I wonder if they didn't call the NICU because it was a really tight fit for Josh to come out and it had been a long labor. I don't know. Dr Wai's explanation seemed weak to me.
The recovery was remarkably better. It was awesome to walk on my own, go to the bathroom on my own, be able to move my body on my own...I was pretty loopy until I came home from the hospital. The IV drugs definately took their toll but not worse than an epidural. Also I was taking oral narcotics while I was in the hospital after I gave birth. But everything was so much better. I was a lot less swollen and far more mobile. So the experience was much better this time. This, by the way, is not an anouncement of intent to do it again.
Josh is a wonderful baby. He is very handsome and melts my heart. Big sister Abby can not resist him either. It is so fun and exciting to have a baby again. Even though I am exhausted and broken I still love taking care of my babies.
(BTW spell check is not working so this is how I spell when I am very tired. Pitiful eh?)