Where have I been?

Although things have been busy I would be a liar if I said that I haven't had the time to blog.  I have been busy looking through thepioneerwoman.com .  I have tried this sandwich and it is wonderful.  I think that you all would enjoy this site so check her out.

If Pictures could smell...

Some of you would remember the time that I wore so much of Mommy's perfume that Budfat, our pet rat, had a hard time breathing.  I walked around reaking for quite sometime convinced that I smelled beautiful.  Like a whole garden of flowers. 
This morning Abby got into my perfume.  I smelled her before I saw her and could smell her wherever she went.  Eventually the tide faded and she only left a small puddle of perfume when she left.  I don't blame the girl for wanting to smell pretty.  Maybe next time I can convince her to smell just a little bit less.

Birthday lunch

We went to Applebees for my birthday lunch.  I had some offers to watch our children, but I declined thinking that it would be "fun" to have them come with...it would have been better to take someone up on their offer.

I don't know how to make that picture rotate right so if you don't mind crank your neck and look at it.  We had a yummy lunch.  Josh ate ketchup, Abby looked at her hot dog, and Adam and I had steak.  We had a good time and resolved not to take the kids out with us except to McDonalds.

New Computer

Yes,  I am so excited that I am posting about my new computer.   This is the difference that a decade makes in size:

Old 1999- The box did not fit in the desk, the monitor barely fit on top of the desk.

Plenty of room!

So sleek and shiny!

I can't say enough of the difference in speed!  And the memory, ooooh the memory.  I love having a new computer!

My Late Twenties

Yesterday was my late twenties birthday.  It was a delightful day.  I woke up early (for the black friday sales ofcourse!) to snow.  I was very suprised.  For some reason I didn't expect snow until January or February.  It was beautiful.  I went to just a few stores before Adam called me home for breakfast.  He and the kids made me eggs, bacon, french toast, and yummy hot chocolate.  I had a heavenly uninterrupted nap and a lazy afternoon.  I opened presents with the kids and Larry and Teresa.  Thanks everyone!  In the evening I was able to make our final black friday purchase.  A new computer! Yay!  I had been using the same computer that I started college with, and it was used when I got it.  So this is a wonderful upgrade for our family.  Then we had a simple dinner and cake.  Thanks Adam for a wonderful birthday!

Cleaning ADD and Humiliated Pizza

I was trying to clean my house today.  As I was cleaning I realized that I have cleaning ADD.  This may be a direct result of having children.  I found myself putting a dish in the sink and then putting some laundry away only to pass back through the kitchen and wash a few dishes and then go back to the laundry and then do some mail and start to clear off the kitchen table when I realized I needed to finish putting away the laundry and when I passed back through the kitchen there was food that needed to be put away...This is just an example of my craziness.  All the while I was telling myself to focus on just one thing.  Do just one thing. It didn't work.  Part of it was trying to rush while Josh was napping part of it was just the quantity that needed to be done part of it was feeling very jumbled.  I need to make a checklist and check things off my list.

I decided to splurge today and buy a $4.99 pizza.  While Abby happily munched away I had to first humiliate my pizza.  I stripped off the cheese and then proceeded to eat the very disfigured pizza.  Unlike the picture above the pizza I ate knew what it was like to be dressed in fine mozzerella cheese.  Although I humiliated my pizza it was still yummy.

Weekend with the Haynie's

This weekend my brother, Matt, and his family came up from Indiana to visit me.  Yay!   We had a bunch of fun.  Their two girls and Abby played and played and played.  We visited Kirtland and payed $2 to get into the Kirtland temple.  Then we went to the church's site for free.  Very cool.  We ate a whole bunch of food and had a whole bunch of fun.  Pictures will have to wait until I can borrow the laptop from Adam...story of my life.

A cake recipe for Becca and Heather

And anyone else who likes chocolate or "root beer" cake.  Check this blog out to find the delicious recipe.  My friend Jenny shared this cake with me and it is really yummy.

Missing Texas

I'm missing Texas today.  I miss my Texas home. 

Joshy update

A night ago my situation with Josh came to breaking point.  I was so frusterated that he wouldn't eat.  I put a lot of pressure on the little guy.  This only led to him crying.  Which only made me feel worse.  I decided to call the Ohio chapter of the La Leche League. 
Shockingly someone was there.  And helpful.  She made me feel better about the whole situation.  Ofcourse it was nice to talk to someone who's reactions wasn't "You're still nursing him?!?!? How can you still be nursing him?" followed by "You did all of that by yourself?" Talk about feeling like the fat girl in line for a double slice of pepperoni pizza and entire chocolate cake.  I didn't realize how much that impacted the way I was feeling and the way I was reacting to the situation.  We talked for a long long time.  Her daughter happened to be there and happened to be a speech pathologist.  This was really helpful because ultimately that is who we would work with.  This kind representative just ran by her daughter the situation and got some general advice for me.  She said that his situation doesn't sound severe at all and that she would just let him make a mess with food and play in it with him as often as we eat.  Expect a mess. 

So yesterday I took this advice to heart.  He just needs to experiment with food.  First I unscrewed his sippy cup and let him put his pudgy little hand in there and get a good feel of the water.  Then I put the lid back on it.  He immediately wanted some water.  Then we played with food.  The speech pathologist suggested heavily involving Abby.  She was a more than willingly participant.  We played with crackers and cheerios and pears.  I threw cheerios up and caught them in my mouth, which pleased the crowds.  Later that day I was snacking on a cracker and Josh wanted one.  He licked it.

We had spaghetti for dinner.  I let him play with every part of spaghetti although i did not mix them together. He tasted some juice, after feeling it.  He wore a noodle hat and I put the sauce on my lips and kissed him.  He liked that.  He thought it was funny to squish the meat in his hands and to throw the brocolli.  After dinner I pulled out a loaf of bread from the oven.  He wanted a piece.  He walked around with it guming it and chewing little pieces for about an hour.  Then he wanted more water. 

I aslo talked with parma pediatrics about our horrible experience.  It turns out that the lab order was sent and that the nurse that I talked too the second time simply didn't understand how to run the computer.  The labs are in and Joshy is nutritionally sound. I was concerned that he was anemic but his numbers are better than mine.  So yay!  No more needles.  The only thing I need to figure out now is why Josh is screaming for an hour and half in the middle of the night!  In the meantime I am enjoying the lack of diahrrea and knowing that he is getting all of the nutrition he needs right now. 

Hilary Weeks New Christmas CD

Hilary weeks new christmas CD is coming out fairly soon.  I actually really like Hilary Weeks and am excited to hear her new CD.  If you want to check it out you can go here.

Pictures

Offended

So recently I witnessed a situation occur at church that really offended me.  I felt like one party involved was really inappropriate.  It really depressed me.  I took it fairly personally, even though it was not directed at me.  It involved adults, just so you all don't think that I am talking of teenagers.  I have not really resolved it yet and as I thought more about it last night it came to tears.  Certainly this past week has been hard and with everything else going on I'm sure that part of my despair is in fact due to other circumstances.  I began thinking of ways to control the situation so that I do not end up hurt again.  As I thought about what had happened I began to rationalize that this ward is not really my home ward.  It is my student ward, so really not mine at all.  Just a temporary place for me to be.  I thought if I stop going to the less mandatory activities that there would be less chance of offense.  You can see where this train of thought is headed.  But as I followed this stream of thought it lead to me to my testimony.  I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ much more than I feel offended.  I can get over my offense in order to maintain my promises and obligations to the Lord.  Really that is what gets me up and motivated to chase down 2 little kids and force them into church appropriate attire every Sunday.  That is what prompts me to continue to read scriptures to my daughter who tries to pretend to fall asleep, walk on the wall, sing at the top of her lungs or otherwise thwart my spiritual attempts every night.  It is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and our loving Heavenly Father that pulls me through temptation and trial alike.  I'm certain that it will pull me through this one too.

The Cleveland Clinic-A First Hand Review

So today I ventured out for the first time to the Cleveland clinic.  Josh had an appointment with the pediatric gastroenterologist at 8:00 am.  We arrived at the actual hospital campus/building just after 8:00.  After refusing valet for $10.00 total I was directed to the nearest parking garage.  First hour = free.  Second half hour $4.00 and so on until you reach a $10.00 maximum.  Yikes.  The parking garage had a tunnel connecting to each of the nearest buildings which was a nice amenity.  We headed to the 11th floor and checked in.  We got there at about 8:15.  The secretaries were really nice about us being late.  They never said a word and when I brought it up they said that it was fine. We waited about 30 minutes in the waiting area and they were packed.  Then we went to our room.  We waited about 1 hour and 15 minutes.  That felt like a small eternity.  All the while I was thinking about the parking fees.  Abby was just about ready to burst out of her skin and Josh was determined to figure out what would happen if he shoved his pudgy little hands into one of the many uncovered outlets in every area/room of this place.  The doctor came in.  She seemed smart but then she tried to give me a mask for Josh to wear because he coughed once.  When that obviously failed she excused herself and came back with a mask.  She then took the normal history where I repeated myself well over 3-4 times per question.  Then it was time for the physical exam.  Josh squirmed a little bit and she once again excused herself to get a nurse to help her hold him down.  hmmm.  The nurse came back, now masked (she wasn't before we saw the doctor), and Josh laid perfectly still.  He was perfect.  He didn't even cry.  She then said that Josh likely has a milk protein allergy and possibly something else, I can't remember.  She did ask Abby to be quiet, which scared Abby which caused her to be quiet.  Then she left and had a dietician come in and tell me to stop eating.  Just kidding, it just feels that way.  Apparently I am on a kosher diet now or something.   The doctor came in and took Abby on a tour while the dietician talked to me which was immensely helpful, and she did say that for how long she waited Abby was very good.   So the dietician said to keep trying to get him to take cereal and suggested a few tricks to help get it down.  It was helpful.  We then scheduled an upper GI with speech pathology.  That will be done Thanksgiving week.  The dietician was more personable than the doctor and I felt like she listened more.  She thought that he might have some acid reflux issues which the upper GI would be able to diagnose.  We then went to the lab where two big men tortured Josh.  This test is to confirm the milk protein allergy, lead poisoining, iron count, and cbc.  All in all we were there for four hours.  And I got to pay $10.00 in parking.  When I go back next month I will just pay the $10.00 for the valet.  I felt like it was a productive visit.  I felt like they were helpful and knowledgable.  But I also really really hope that I get to cancel all this nonsense and just have my little boy eat.

Honey Am I Hormonal?

So for the last several weeks I have been off center.  Struggling to be myself in basic, basic ways.  Part of this may be this or that but most of it, I believe, is lack of estrogen.  Apparently nursing causes estrogen levels to drop.  I experienced a similar phenomena when Abby was 1 year old.  I tried going to a CNM when it happened 3 years ago.  Her grand solution was to have me stop nursing.  Just stop.  Since Abby was not ready and neither was I it simply wasn't an option.  Now with Josh not eating solid foods it definitely isn't an option.  With a handful of stewing skeptisism I headed to the doctors office. She was actually helpful and I agreed with her treatment plan.  So hopefully I can stop asking Adam "Honey am I hormonal".

Josh's Dr Appointment

Today I took Josh to his 1 year old visit.  He is our kid that always has something.  Abby was there because we were going to get her flu shot but then I decided against it.  But she was there.  Obnoxiously there.  Going to the doctors office is as bad if not worse that being on the phone with her.  "Mommy I need to talk to you!  Mommy I need to talk to you!  Mommy I LOVE YOU!"  Yes cute but not when she is drowning out any potentially important information from the practitioner.  So anyway I told the nurse that Josh still will not eat.  I am worried because he doesn't sleep well and he felt lighter to me and I think he is hungry.  If he were sleeping better and maintaining his weight or not acting so hungry I wouldn't be concerned.  But I was.  It just so happened that the np previously worked for the feeding disorder clinic.  She said that he definately needs to get in.  So we were wrapping up that lovely conversation about how he has sucked his little mouth into a weird shape and how obnoxious Abby is when he tripped over the nurse's chair and face planted it.  Again.  Yes blood all over the place.  Again.  3rd time in less than a week.  I swear this kid is trying to push me into a nervous breakdown.  I nearly cried  He screamed.  The nurse told me to breast feed him.  I think she didn't want to listen to him cry anymore.  His nose is very swollen.  He lost 1/2 lb this month.  That's really hard for me.  I like him chunky.  I'm ready for the help.  She also gave me a referral to see an allergist to make sure that he is not allergic to the food I am trying to feed him.  It was a helpful although distressful visit.  Atleast it was helpful.  It would have been cooler if nothing was wrong with him.  If his nose didn't meet the ground in such a horrible way and if he would just eat anything besides shoes and plastic.  I would be less grumpy.  

A Fall Picture for Becca

Patterson Farm's Fun Fest

We had a BUNCH of fun at Patterson Farms.

Josh's Birthday

Yesterday was Josh's first birthday.  We made him a yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

He liked the frosting.

We opened presents.  Josh figured it out toward the end. 

Finally we went to the Ringling/Barnum Bro's Circus.  It was really cool.  Josh fell asleep during the first part.  After the intermission was over he woke up.  His favorite part was the tiger tamer.  It was really scary.  Abby REALLY enjoyed the circus.  She said that her favorite part was the human cannonballs.  Adam's favorite part of the circus was also the tiger tamer.  I really liked tight rope walkers.  It was a really fun first birthday.

Then we opened presents.

Josh's last day as an infant

Today is Josh's last day as an infant.  In true infant style I was up with him about 3 times last night.  On Saturday I got to take Josh to his very first ER visit.  He fell at Kohl's while I was trying on a dress and probably broke his nose.  With blood spurting everywhere I threw my clothes back on and after speaking with the Kohl's people about their bloody dress was off to find medical attention for Josh.  They did not do an X-Ray because the treatment is the same for a broken nose as it is for a bruised nose.  Unfortunately for Josh this is the time of year when we have the heater on and that stuff us up a little.  Normally this is no big deal and everyone can sleep through it BUT when your nose is swollen 2-3 times it's normal size, it IS a big deal.  Last night was actually the best night yet.  I figured out if I put a couple of drops of water up your nose then you can work out the boogers and sleep well.  This is ofcourse after some motrin to take some of the swelling down. 

Josh is an active little baby.  He has fallen since the Kohls accident and re-injured his nose.  It was just a minor set back.  His favorite hobbies include opening/emptying drawers, climbing ANYTHING even his tired mommy, the side of Abby's bed, the armoire, tables, chairs, desks, stairs.  His least favorite thing is getting DOWN from these places and eating food.  Or actually swallowing food.  Even if he likes the way it tastes and swishes it in his little mouth a few times if it is in danger of actually going down then everything must come up.  I am a pro at catching throw up now. Thanks Josh.  Something I never knew I wanted to be.  Overall he is a happy, VERY CUDDLY and sweet baby.  He is still learning to talk but has said "mama" "dada" and I swear he said "Jesus" at church on Sunday.  I am going to go and enjoy this last day on infancy with my baby.

Josh Playing Peek-a-boo

Josh had his first haircut on Friday.  A very patient Jamie Yetter wrestled him and got his hair done.  We spiked it which is hard to tell in this picture.  He is super cute and looks a lot older.  Although I miss his baby hair I think he looks great!

My Talk that I gave in sacrament meeting

As my mom would lovingly point out I still haven't learned to make paragraphs.  Here it is:
Right now Ohio is going through some rough times. Employment rates are low and those who are employed are not making the money that they need to keep up with the costs of daily living. There is an air of anxiety. Many families are turning to church right now for a lot of different reasons. Church is free. Church can bring hope and calm in the midst of this hard time. I also feel like we are re examining our lives and trying to make hard decisions. Church helps remind us of our values, of the commandments which God gave us to help us make these hard decisions. I was asked today to talk about Keeping these Commandments.




Heavenly Father created us and our world. He sent us his son as an example and to teach us how to return to our Father in Heaven. In his earthly ministry Jesus taught us “If Ye love me, keep my commandments”. As I have studied the scriptures and this past conference Love of God is the ultimate reason to keep the commandments. It is also the first and greatest commandment and we are taught that if we keep this commandment that everything else will follow.



President Dieter F Uchtdorf gave a talk last weekend called “The Love of God” and stated the following:

“Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our church callings, and in our livelihood…When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as Disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.”

Keeping the commandments, especially this first and greatest commandment to Love God transforms our lives. Right now when fear and doubt are rampant, where there is less certainty about jobs and money we can be certain about our values. As we love God and try to develop our relationship with him “confusion clears and our priorities align”. I am reminded of Nephi when his life was in upheaval. His father Lehi had a vision and he was asked to leave everything behind. Then after he had given up the comforts of his life he was asked to return to Jerusalem and retrieve the plates. I believe that as he proceeded through this journey that it was his Love of God that allowed him to remain faithful to his task and proclaim that “I awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” His love of God allowed him to retain his values even under hard circumstances. Likewise we can use our relationship with God to anchor us in righteous living when our journey is rough and feels unsure.



Keeping the commandments and loving God create a positive feedback loop. As you keep the commandments it is easier to love God and because you love God it is easier to keep his commandments.



When the commandments are viewed from the perspective of our loving Heavenly Father it is evident that he is trying to enable us to live rich full lives and not to restrict us. Each one of the commandments that he has given us protects and enables us to live full and happy lives. They prevent us from choosing heartbreak and allow us to have more freedoms, more choices, and more responsibility. We sing about this truth: “How Gentle God’s Commands, How kind his precepts are! Come cast your burden on the Lord and trust his constant care. Beneath his watchful eye, his saints securely dwell, That hand which bears all nature up shall guard his children well.”

This truth is evident in our lives and the lives of those around us. Each of us has witnessed the hard choices of people we love around us failing to keep the commandments. We have witnessed the hardships that their choices cause not only them but the people around them. As they choose a path that is contradictory to the commandments of God they suffer, for “wickedness never was happiness”. A member of my family has made some very hard choices that has lead to her to abandon her six children and remain distant and unresponsive to those who love her most. Unfortunately her actions have not only affected her children and family but the lives of countless others. As I have struggled through this experience I have thought deeply about the Love of God. The love he has for me and the wisdom in which he has created this world. I struggle as I hear of my parents sacrificing everything to start over as six children are thrust upon them and then find out about the neglect that these children have suffered. In my weakness I struggle to understand why God does not intervene and make my sister choose differently. Why does he not force parents to be good and love his children?

In Dalin H Oaks talk this last week he said “God does not intervene to forstall the consequences of some persons’ choices in order to protect the well-being of other persons—even when they kill, injure or oppress one another—for this would destroy His plan for our eternal progress. He will bless us to endure the consequences of others’s choices, but He will not prevent those choices.” Because of my personal experience it is clear to me that every commandment has been put in place by a loving, protective Father in Heaven who wants us to succeed. He will not stop others from disobeying his commandments, but he will give those who are affected by their bad choices the strength to press on. One of my favorite hymns “Come Thou Glorious Day of Promise” describes my feelings as I have watched this situation with my sister unravel:

“Come Thou Glorious day of promise; come and spread thy cheerful ray, when the scattered sheep of Israel shall no longer go astray, when Hosannas with united voice they’ll cry.

Lord, How long wilt thou be angry? Shall they wrath forever burn? Rise, redeem thine ancient people; Their transgressions from them turn. King of Israel come and set they people free.

Oh, that soon thou wouldst to Jacob thy enliv’ning spirit send. Of their unbelief and misery Make O Lord a speedy end. Lord, Messiah! Prince of Peace o’er Israel reign.”

I love that it is never too late to start following the commandments. This knowledge brings me hope and joy especially as I think of my sister. I know that at any point in time as she travels down this hard path she can turn back to the Lord. She can immediately begin the repentance process and immediately improve her life by following the commandments. I believe the improvement in life is immediate. The very moment that you make the commitment to change and follow God’s commandments is the moment that your life improves. He is there to help encourage and direct us back into the path of happiness.

As we learn to realize our potential and understand the commandments more fully things can become complicated. Let me share a very personal example. After having my daughter Abigail I was anxious to lose the weight I gained while pregnant. However I struggled to make it to the gym. I talked to a friend who said that she would reward herself for going to the gym with a candy. So I set up a rewards system for myself. It was quite motivating. You see I reasoned that if I burned 300 calories on the treadmill then I could have my favorite candy bar. I stalked up and began a very regular exercise routine. After sometime I was disappointed that the weight was not coming off. As I further examined my routine I discovered that a snickers bar is nearly 300 calories. I realized that the reward I gave myself for doing something good was replacing the goal I had set out to achieve. President Uchtdorf in his talk “The Love of God” said “…there are so many shoulds and should nots that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda.” I repented and gave up my snickers reward and instead allowed myself to reach the goal I had set out for myself.
As we progress through this life and learn “precept upon precept” about the gospel and the Lord’s commandments we are blessed with a Love of God, a relationship with him. This relationship will anchor us in righteous living and allow us to live up to our potential.

As we walk through the rough terrains of our life, and turn again to God for help with our hard decisions, will we receive peace and calm in our lives from keeping the commandments.

What I did!

Okay so I am a little picture retarded and can't get them the way I want as quickly as I want.  I made a new ironing board cover!!!  It is really exciting because having a good IBC really makes a difference when you are ironing.  My last one was really bad, and it is sooo awesome to have one that fits.  Also my friend Bridgette showed me how to make bows!  She showed Roni the same time and they were making cute Halloween themed bows.  They were so cute I decided to do something similar.  Abby still isn't crazy about wearing her hair up but having a cute bow makes a difference.  Thanks guys!

Yay! I won the CIRCUS TICKETS!!!

I won the circus tickets that I blogged about a week ago!  We will be going to the circus for Josh's FIRST birthday.  We are so excited to go.  Thanks Rachel for the awesome give away!

Circus Tickets

Memories and Mayhem is hosting a give away to Cleveland Circus.  The tickets are good for Josh's first birthday.  rachel's Blog is where you can go to sign up.  And hey if you live in Texas and want to sign up and give them as a birthday gift to Josh there would be no objections...

Cute, no really cute...

Abby recieved her first flowers from a boy.  His name is John.  Yeah he's like 4.  He got the teacher 1 flower and then gave Abby 3 flowers.  There are 5 other girls in her class and they got none.  Adam was there when it happened.  He said John was a nice boy but at the same time he didn't really like him moving in on his daughter.  Adam 'accidentally' forgot to bring Abby's flowers home from preschool so there are no pictures.  Just a cute memory.

Talk Like A Pirate Day is TOMORROW!!!

 My TALPD name will be Calico Ethel Flint! Yay! Abby's name will be Captain Morgan Bonney (go here for your own name).  tlapd

Diapers

Every baby of mine is equipped with two radars.  The first one is wether I am within an appropriate range of them.  The second is how many diapers are left.  If the stack cannot last more than 5 days then it is time to have explosive, recurring diahrrea.  It's almost as if the last 5 days of the diaper stack are the chocolate part of neopolitan ice cream.  It must be the best part of the stack.  They must feel better.  They must absorp better.  More worthy of greater deposits than their predecesors.   I wonder if in there hidden language infants brag about wearing the last diapers of the stack.  "Hey baby,  I'm on 5th to the last.  Yeah I saw we were getting low so I sucked on the toy at the gym just like you showed me.  Kept my mom busy this afternoon if you know what I mean.  How 'bout you?"

Sunburn

Today at church I sat next to a friend and she had the most awesome sunburn.  I miss my texas home so much.  I wished that I could touch her and have some of the sun melt off of her and onto me. 

Baby Bob

Here is a sweet one of Bob.

Baby Sean

I haven't been able to take a lot of pictures of Sean but here is a really sweet one of him sleeping.

Baby Bob's Blessing

I Miss the Laptop

We currently own 2 computers.  I know, know; the luxury, the luxury.  Our desk top is from 1999 and has less memory than my ipod.  The other is a newer laptop that Adam has as an appendage.  Since we have 0 memory on our desk top I cannot load our pictures onto it.  Since adam has the laptop as an appendage I cannot load our pictures onto it.  It is very frusterating because there are some really cute ones from this weekend.  Grrrrrrr.  Anyway we will probably invest in a new desk top during black friday.  Until then we will all suffer with sporadic pictures.

Guts

I wish I had the guts to live my life the way I want to live it. I'm a little embarassed to say that I don't even know all the major parts of what that would be. I guess with the move and with Adam gone all the time and being at the mercy of my children I've felt a little out of control. A little like I'm not sure of who I am or what I want exactly. Part of this probably comes from comforting myself that I will make it back into school. Everyone around me is going to school and it kills me a little bit. I really loved school and want to go back very badly. I like the learning and writing and testing part of school.
Part of it is arranging a schedule. I think that I've got this somewhat figured out. But I wish that I could do more.
A lot of this has to do with starting over. We are starting over. New place, new school, new people, new house, new doctor, new everything. But there are limits, like feeling scared to ask people to watch my kids, feeling scared to ask people over, learning to clean a new house and having people come over and see my disorganized house...Learning a new ward and a new city...definitely learning a new way to live. Amidst all of this I wish I had more guts to live the way I want to live. Whatever that is. Maybe the sense to know exactly what that statement means.

Tired!

I have been completely exhausted lately. I feel like a flat tire. It probably has something to do with the stress of hauling my family across the nation and adjusting to a new state, climate, ward, schedule, etc. I've been so tired and icky feeling that I even took a pregnancy test *negative*. I'm hoping that some zyrtec will help with the icky feeling and that just a little bit of time will help the rest. Abby has been exhibiting stress in her peeing way. It is much better today. She told me that she in nervous to start preschool. Personally I am counting down the days (first visit is on Friday). She is so bored and hyper all the time. I haven't decided if we are going to do mornings or afternoons. We're signed up for the mornings but I will always be late for the classes I have been going to at Bally's. A lame reason I know but still a factor.
Josh started clapping today! It was so cute. I will post a video of it soon. He has had a cold. We took him to the doctor today. He's healthy, except they worry that he doesn't eat any solid foods. The pediatrician mentioned popsicles. He tried one today. Stuck out his little red tongue and then pulled a face whenever I put the popsicle on it. He seemed to like it though snot and all.
Adam has his first test today. He is taking it now and I don't know when we will find out the results. He has been gone the last two days. We miss him.

The Importance of Children

Russell M Nelson at the recent World Congress of Families said
“Future happiness and even the future of nations is linked to children. Families with children need to be re-enthroned as the fundamental unit of society. We simply must value children more than we do.” (http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/elder-russell-m-nelson-addresses-international-conference-on-families) I couldn't agree more.

Composting

For a while now I have wanted to start composting. I have been researching different methods. I have narrowed it down to 2. Worm composting and lasagna composting.
For worm composting you need to get a cardboard box, dirt, and worms. Then you put your table scraps, chopped finely, in a thin layer in the worm home. They should live contendedly so long as you don't make their home to acidic. The positive part of worm composting is that you can put meat and other non-traditional composting foods in the bin. The drawbacks are that you may potentially end up with smelly trash and 100 dead worms. Plus I have to find a place in cleveland that sells worms.
The other most appealling type of composting is called Lasagna Composting. The Cleveland Clinic has partnered with several businesses and is now composting all of their hospital kitchen scraps. They are using lasagna composting. Here is a link from their page http://ccetompkins.org/compost/Lasagna%20Composting.pdf . The positive part of this composting is that I will not need any additional materials *no potentially dead worms* and I can do it in small increments *no 'saving' my food materials until I have collected enough*.
I am going to begin my attempt at lasagna composting today or tomorrow. It's raining right now so I will have to wait and see how the weather goes.

A Better Walking Video

Here is a better walking video of Josh. We gave him his first haircut on Thursday. Adam held him while I did the honors, so it's not really dramatic. He looks a little more manly anyway.

Sun Room

I successfully converted our sun room into a play room for the kids. Everyone has been enjoying it the way it is. When winter comes we may have to figure something else out, but we will wait and see how it is. In the meantime this is a place that we hang out a lot.

Abby's Birthday

Abby turned four last week. We celebrated by going to the swimming pool, eating cake, and eating at her favorite restaurant (Panda Express). Although we had some moments of intense longing for our Texas friends I think that she had a good time.

Cuyahoga Valley National Park

Shortly after moving into our house Adam and I decided to head over to the national park nearby our house. The picture at the top of my blog is one I took of the Falls in Cuyahoga Valley National Park. We had a really great time at the park.